The Roleplex Epic Battle of Epicness

Okay guys, I figured I'd make this since every other forum I've ever been to has one. This is the Epic Battle of Epicness; an epic free-for-all battle. Basically, in this thread, you send some sort of attack at the person who posts after you. They then counter it, and attack the next person. So, it works like this;

[quote=player 1] I throw a meteorite at TPBM![/quote]

[quote=player 2] I swallow your meteorite whole! I then hit TPBM in the face with a sledgehammer![/quote]

[quote=player 3] I melt your sledgehammer with my heat vision, which I then blast TPBM with![/quote]

And so on and so forth. Now LET US BEGIN THE MOST EPIC BATTLE EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I throw a Bomb Omb at TPBM.

I chatch it and through it at TPBM

I am unaffected, seeing as though Bomb Oms don't exist. (Don't even ask me why they're called Bob-ombs)
Instead, I jump in the air and fly kick TPBM in the face. With shoes on. Green ones.

I do not believe in the color green, so your attack is ineffective.


Then I hit TPBM with my mashy-mashy spike plate.

I grab said mashy-spike and use my crazy powers to turn it into a gun that shoots highly-compressed ice that is charged with electricity before turned into ice. I then shoot it at Maxx_Toron and TPBM.

There is no _ in my name, so the gun instead shoots my hobo doppleganger.

I stick TPBM with a laser grenade.

I Catch it and give TPBM a high five and pass it on to him and run before it explodes

Ah, but you have made a fatal mistake. For just as you do that I inject myself with a combination of the DNA of Chuck Norris and Jet Li. I become.... CHUCK NINJA!

Ghosts don't haunt Chuck Ninja. They thank him for killing them.


I then use my powers to kill TPBM with pure, 100% concentrated awesome.

SUGAR RUSH MAKES ME MOVE FAST. I AVOID IT!

I shoot TPBM with a beam pure energy and send them flying into a parallel Dimension!

I LIKE THAT KINDA THING! THANKS!

I then Run at TPBM and then jump on them and throw them into the closest Particle Accelerator.